


Meowrails With Benefits

by traceExcalibur



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blow Jobs, F/M, Fluff, Oral Sex, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-03
Updated: 2012-03-03
Packaged: 2017-11-01 00:54:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/350193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traceExcalibur/pseuds/traceExcalibur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <blockquote>
  <p> Equius continues shaking and muttering under his breath about every little bit of pain he can inflict on “that impudent blooblood” and “that fishy ruffian” and Nepeta decides it is about time to execute The Plan. It is a top-secret moirallegiance strategy that she has spent the past few weeks devising. Hours upon hours poured into research on the internet, and practice with whatever materials she could scrounge up, all leading to the one thing that is sure to pacify him:<br/>A blowjob.<br/></p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	Meowrails With Benefits

**Author's Note:**

> This is a quick fic that I wrote up a long time ago, and only recently did I get around to finishing and proofreading it. It's the closest thing to "Porn Without Plot" that I think I've written, though it does have at least some base to it, and it's a nice opportunity for me to write some fluff about Nepeta and Equius' moirallegiance.
> 
> I popped on an underage warning just in case but really, it's unspecified, and whatever age they are is up to you and your tastes/headcanons.

Though Equius is her moirail through-and-through and she would usually rush to her side if ever he needed her help, Nepeta prefers to keep her head out of his petty squabbles with Vriska and Eridan. They fight quite a lot, both Vriska and Eridan either petitioning his help or interfering with his business at any time, during the course of their fragile, FLARP-based romances. Equius detests being treated like “neutral ground” for their relationship, but usually he can handle things on his own, de-stressing himself through his robotic cage matches. Nepeta is more than ok with that; in her opinion, the further she is from “Orphaner Dualscar” and “Marquise Spinneret Mindfang”, the better.

Sometimes, however, it can’t be helped, and he requires her services. One day she sees Eridan’s ship go sailing past the entrance to her hive and smashing into a mountain, and she decides that now is one of the times. She sets out immediately, packing with her only her claws – in case she runs into the local fauna along the way – and a spare towel. Equius’ hive isn’t far from hers, and it only takes fifteen minutes of dashing through the forest to reach the bottom of the cliff on which it is situated. A winding path leads from the base to the top, and she begins the arduous journey at once.

She soon arrives at the top of the cliff, though his hive towers above her still. She could, of course, knock on the door and wait for Aurthour to greet her. She chooses not to. Doors are for chumps – a true huntress like her prefers to let her claws out, pull her way up from level to level, and clamber in through the window. Aurthour does not seem at all perturbed by her sudden appearance.

“Ah, Ms. Leijon,” he says with a bow. She giggles; time after time she has insisted that he just call her Nepeta. She finds his stubborn refusal to be anything but the most cordial servant possible quite endearing…and somehow, it reminds her of his master.

“I have been expecting you,” he continues, “for my master is in a most unbecoming mood. I presume you saw the result of his quarrel with Mr. Ampora? It should have landed next to your hive.”

She nods.

“Mr. Ampora fled immediately upon the destruction of his prized flagship. My master is now brawling with his robotic minions, but I fear he will destroy more than just the robots if he is not pacified.”

“Fur not, mister butler. I will sort things out right away!” says Nepeta, and she curtseys, bowing her head low to the ground. She waves goodbye to Aurthour and dashes out of the room. As she approaches Equius’ cage-match room, she hears furious roars and metallic crashes. A robotic head smashes through the wall; she yelps and ducks underneath it. Pushing the door open, she sees Equius swing a robot around and toss him at a wall, easily shattering the stone and sending the robot hurtling down into the valley below. She waves to him, her hands concealed behind her baggy sleeves. He turns and scowls.

“Who the fudge are you to disturb my—oh. Nepeta.”

His expression softens, if only barely, and his eyes sweep the room.

“Woold you happen to have seen a towel around here? I am exceedingly sweaty right now, an innocent creature like you shoold not have to see me like this…”

He trails off sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. Nepeta isn’t fooled for a second – his other hand is still balled up into a fist and shaking, and his futile attempt at a smile can’t hide his obvious grimace.

“You are just going to go right back to beating up your robots the moment I leave, aren’t you? she asks, with a wry smile.

“That is none of your business. Now where the flip did I put all of my towels?”

Equius brushes past her and into the hallway, looking for a closet, or perhaps a bathroom. Sweat drips from his every pore, leaving a trail of moisture behind him; Nepeta wrinkles her nose at the smell but says nothing about it. She has more important things to talk about.

“It is evfurry bit my business, mister! I am your meowrail, it is my duty to calm you down when you’re having a hiss-fit.”

“I am _not_ having a…urgh, I do not know why I bother arguing with you. You are so inflexible. It is unbecoming of one with your color of blood…”

“Hee hee, you think I’m the infurrlexible one?”

She darts around him when they reach the closet. She spreads her arms wide, blocking his entry.

“No towels until you purromise to let me calm you down!”

Equius crosses his arms; a vein twitches in his forehead.

“You will move.”

“Nyooooope! Hee hee!”

“Do not cross me, Nepeta. You will move, or I will move you myself.”

“Purromise!”

“I make no promises, I insist that you move this instant. No exceptions.”

He flexes his muscles, as if to scare her. She is unimpressed, and simply shakes her head.

“Move.”

“No!”

“Move.”

“Nooooo!”

She pouts and stands her ground. A fresh wave of sweat trickles down his forehead. Finally, he relents.

“…if you must play such extremely pointless games, so be it. You have my word; I will allow you to remain in my company for a while longer.”

“Hooray!”

In an instant the closet door is flung open and she tosses a towel at him. He seems surprised by the sudden movement but he mumbles a begrudging ‘thank you’ and begins towelling himself immediately. Nepeta reaches into the closet and pulls the rest of the towels out, carting them into the nearest room. As is the case with many of the spare rooms in nobletroll’s castles, the room is mostly empty. It takes a few trips, but she manages to haul enough into the room to form a comfortable, if messy-looking pile. Equius, holding a sopping wet towel and done cleaning himself off, peeks into the room.

“What in the—Nepeta, tell me what you are doing.”

“Making a big pile of towels, isn’t it pawvious?” She smiles, the slight cleft in her lip forming a catlike expression. “I do my best work in piles of things! So, plant your rump down and let’s talk about our feelings!”

After spending a fair bit of time grumbling, Equius plonks himself down onto the pile of towels. Nepeta sits beside him, grinning, and she can tell that her mere presence is helping to calm him down. But…it’s not enough, not yet. He acts calm, if only to maintain his dignity, but his shaking breath and flushed skin are enough to tell her that he is still fuming.

“What happened?” she asks, “Something to do with Mr. Ampurra?”

“He attempted to extricate black feelings from Vriska. He did so by firing a cannonball at her house. The unrooly shot missed and hit my hive instead, and destroyed one of my robotic creations, and…and…” Equius stands up. “…and I am going to find him and I am going to _eviscerate—_ “

“No no no no no, sit back down!”

She grabs at the back of his shirt, and when it proves futile, she stands up and forcibly tries to push him back down. Her strength is useless compared to his but the message is clear, and he reluctantly returns to the pile. She follows him.

“Pawlright, now tell me: is your robot really worth getting so upset ofur? You have purrlenty, and you can easily make anothfur! You are the bestest robot maker efur!”

His expression eases for a moment.

“Troo, troo, but…it is the principle of the matter. They shoold not be involving me in their petty quadrant struggles. A lady of your blood hue might not understand, but this is extremely—“

“Don’t bring blood into this, Equius!”

He freezes up. His fists clench.

“You may not understand, but this is extremely serious. Their relationship issues are theirs alone and they shoold show due diligence in distancing themselves from neutral parties before fighting. The cowards woold not even apologize when I confronted them.”

Nepeta smiles and paws at his face.

“Purrhaps they are afurraid of you?”

“Nonsense. Why woold they…”

She raises an eyebrow and shoots him a look that says, ‘really?’ and he trails off.

“Perhaps they were. But that only prooves their cowardice.” He flexes his arms and scowls. “No, that kind of behoovior will not do at all, I will find them and they will learn not to cross such boundaries, they will learn exactly what their place is and what dignities must be shown to one of my stature at all times, and I…I will…”

Equius continues shaking and muttering under his breath about every little bit of pain he can inflict on “that impudent blooblood” and “that fishy ruffian” and Nepeta decides it is about time to execute The Plan. It is a top-secret moirallegiance strategy that she has spent the past few weeks devising. Hours upon hours poured into research on the internet, and practice with whatever materials she could scrounge up, all leading to the one thing that is sure to pacify him:

A blowjob.

She shifts around until she is below him and unbuttons his pants, starting to tug them down. Equius rants on for a while, oblivious to her movements, but by the time his pants are around his knees he looks down and frowns.

“Nepeta, what the fu…flip are you doing?”

She giggles. He almost swore, she knows he did! But she says nothing, and continues removing his pants.

“You are really, really tense, and I am going to help relieve you, that’s what!”

“This is not the proper procedure for moirails, you—“

“Shush, Ek! We are not going to fill a pail, I am just furcing you to relax. Recreational mating is not bad, and it _will_ calmyou down!”

His underwear is plain and grey with a very obvious bump in the center. She hooks her fingernails around the hem and slides it away. Between his legs his bone bulge is half-erect already, and twitching very slightly. He flushes blue and tries to cover it with his hands.

“Nepeta, for the love of gosh, you will stop.”

“Nyoooo way! I’m doing this and that is final!”

She takes it in hand and starts stroking it softly. As it hardens the foreskin slides back and exposes the head. She giggles and rolls her thumb over it very gently, and Equius grunts.

“Do not…make me use force.”

Nepeta stares up at him, pouting. “You know you would nefur hurt me. Purrrlease, Equius, just let me help. I know what I’m doing! We’re bestest meowrails, right?”

His eyes close beneath his shades. Sweat drips down his navy-tinted cheeks and he clenches and unclenches his fists. He sighs a long, shuddering sigh, and then he relents.

“Do as you wish.”

She smiles and mews, “Yaaaay!” and continues stroking him, and soon he is fully hard. His cock stands at attention, eight inches tall and with plenty of girth. It throbs with anticipation, the head flushed a deep blue. She isn’t sure if she can fit it all in her mouth, but that doesn’t perturb her. She’s got plenty to work with, and it suits her just fine. She paws at it, and watches it bounce… _boiiing_. She giggles and keeps batting at it, delighting as his cock quivers. Equius begins to sweat, and frowns.

“Coold you please refrain from exciting it like that? It is mortifying to watch.”

“Awwww, that’s no fun…”

Disappointed, she stops playing with him and waits for the bulge to settle down. Once it does, she puts both hands at the base, and leans in close to it. She sniffs a few times, and then nuzzles her cheek against the shaft, and her face breaks back into a grin.

“It smells just like you!”

“How foolish,” Equius says; if it is meant as derision, he fails, because he sounds more amused than annoyed. “Of course it does, it is a part of me.”

She giggles and stops nuzzling it, choosing instead to bring her mouth to the very tip. She looks up at him with big, saucer eyes, the slightest hint of olive in her irises. One hand strokes his shaft very gently, and she exhales, her breath hot and heavy on the tip of his cock.

“Ready?” she asks.

He looks down at her, his face as blue as his bulge. Sweat trails down his forehead, and he nods slowly.

“If you must.”

She kisses the head, gently and sweetly. Equius tenses up and makes a strangled sort of groan, but holds himself still. Pleased by the reaction, and curious about the taste, she laps at it with her tongue. The taste is much like the smell – distinctly, exquisitely Equius. She sinks down to the very base, and drags her tongue all the way up the underside of the bulge, topping it with another kiss. The little bumps and ridges of her tongue each help to draw out a long, slow moan. Equius shuts his eyes and looks away, embarrassed, but now he can’t bring himself to stop her.

“So… _depraved…_ ” he murmurs. He hangs his head back and he clutches tightly onto the pile of towels to keep himself steady.

Nepeta swirls her tongue around the tip before sinking back down; she leaves a trail of saliva in her wake, slight glistening olive painting his cock. Her tongue explores his length, running all along the sides and the front. Between licks, she kisses eagerly, coating the bulge in affections. From the very head to the twitching underbelly to the little join where his body and cock meet, Equius is absolutely slathered with tender smooches and care. Often, the bulge twitches, and Nepeta giggles softly. How cute it is, responding to her every movement.

She gasps and draws back for a moment when the first bit of precum dribbles from the tip. The usual dark blue, she at first mistakes it for blood before noticing it has a different consistency. Curious, she leans in and rolls her tongue around the head, lapping up the little release. While it has no recognizable flavour, she notes the slightest hint of sour, masked by its heat and stickiness.

She kisses the tip once more, and then seals her lips around it. Her tongue traces slow circles around the head, at just the right spot where it meets the shaft. She dares to bob her head, pushing his cock into her mouth; the underside drags up along her tongue, along every little bump and divot on her taste buds, as her mouth envelops it. She lets it about halfway in—which proves very little, given Equius’ length—and rolls her tongue around what she can reach. Equius moans and she tastes another hot spurt of precum. She gives her head one last bob and then pulls away with a wet _~pop~,_ looking over the bulge and grinning.

“Feels good, now doesn’t it? You have a pawsitively wonderful expurression, hee hee!”

Equius’ shades seem to have slipped off his face at some point. His eyes are half-lidded and hazed slightly with arousal. While she awaits his answer her hand finds his cock and she pumps the shaft up and down gently, ensuring it stays hard for her.

“It feels better than expected,” he admits, his normally powerful voice wavering, “As though you have had practice…tell me you have not been engaging in such lood acts without my express permission?”

She giggles, and a blush chances across her face.

“Not with any real people! But, um, I might have tried it on some ice pops, beclaws I was feeling a little curious and frisky sometimes…”

She lightly rolls her thumb over the head and his back jolts.

“T-that is acceptable, I suppose.”

“Yay!” she shouts with a smile, and she leans back in.

She puts both hands on his shaft and resumes licking at the tip, happily lapping up every little blue drop that leaks out. Once it is warmed up again she gladly takes him in, bobbing her head up and down and letting his cock pulse and throb inside her mouth. Hesitantly, he places a hand on her head, gently as possible. His fingers tease at a lock of her hair and he rubs her scalp gently, offering what little reward he can. It drives her onwards and she bobs faster, running her tongue all along his cock, trying her best to pleasure him.

_Schllup…mghhlphh…cchup…mhh…_

The air is alive with lewd, wet noises; the occasional moan from Equius and giggling gurgle from Nepeta. As time passes she gets messier and messier, nuzzling and rubbing her cheeks up against his shaft, her mouth coated in saliva and a tinged with a pale blue. Her affections and attentions are without focus; she pulls her tongue up along the sides, plants a smattering of kisses all around the head, tugs at it with her lips and suckles on it. The little blue spurts come more and more frequently as she works him closer and closer to the edge, freely sucking on his cock, her petite frame lying out in front of him and her head plunging down on his shaft. A tuft of her hair falls in front of her and she brushes it out of the way, all intent focused on him, on his throbbing, boiling cock, on drawing out every last ounce of ecstasy she can and letting all the wondrous pleasure bubble up through his veins.

Equius cannot help but let his hips buck forward slightly, quaking in anticipation of his impending orgasm. It forces his cock almost into her throat and she sputters slightly but does not resist; he very nearly swears under his breath and pulls away, apologizing profusely. Nepeta wants none of it.

“Equius, don’t worry, purrlease! Just keep quiet and let me suck you off!”

He shuts his lips meekly, his body dripping with sweat. He tries to distract himself by towelling it off, but then she does something with her tongue where she pulls his cock up towards the roof of her mouth and flicks the tip, and his spine is wrought with shivers again and his hips roll forwards. Nepeta moans and it reverberates all the way up the shaft, and another, larger burst of precum splurts out and down her throat.

She pulls away, gasping for breath. Her mouth hurts a little and she is starting to get tired but she can’t bring herself to care, his scent—his sweet, sweet sour scent—hangs in the air and drives her onwards. She wants to lean in and sniff him, and taste him, and bask in the sensory delights that radiate from him.

She pushes her head forwards and plunges down, engulfing him. His cock thrusts forwards and she begins bobbing again immediately, moaning more and resisting the urge to gag. She brushes against it with her tongue as much as she can, and moves as quickly as possible, hoping to bring him to his climax. Her efforts are soon rewarded; Equius outright rips a towel in half and grunts a long, low, _“Fuuuck!”_ before he can stop himself, and then the orgasm rips through him. His cum, hot and blue and _wonderful,_ imbued with the taste and scent she loves so, so very much _,_ explodes from the tip and into her mouth. He lets out wave after sticky wave, pouring it down her throat. He nearly empties himself inside her but it is simply too much, and she pulls away spluttering, letting some of the cum splash down her front and spurt onto her chest. The rest she swallows after a moment, and after a gasp for breath she is upon him again, nuzzling his bulge, lapping up what remains. She sucks his cock completely clean, and then pulls away, her lips stained a deep blue.

“Aaaah…that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

She smiles, her usual wide kitten grin stretching across her face. Equius relaxes, leaning back into the pile, jittery but no longer angry.

“It…felt alright. But it is still so…so lood. We shoold not be doing this often, this is no way for moirails to act…”

Nepeta crawls up the pile and buries her face into his neck, nuzzling the sweaty skin without a care in the world.

“Keep telling yourself that, hee hee! But if you get as furryous as you were tonight again, I’m doing this again. So think about that befur you let your anger claws something like this!”

Equius scowls.

“You are so obstinate.”

Nepeta pulls away from his shoulder for a wink.

“I learned furrom the best, silly!”

“Ugh,” is his reply, and there is a moment of silence as Equius struggles to think of something else to say. He fails, it seems, and remains silent for a while. Nepeta sighs happily, content to lie there in the pile with him, but she is rudely interrupted by a hand around the scruff of her neck, and Equius lifts her up into the air. Nepeta yowls and flails about.

“Ackk! Equius, what are you doing?”

“You are absolootly filthy with my…er, genetic flooid. You will take a bath, posthaste. Aurthoor!”

The butler arrives and despite her protests, Nepeta is dragged off to the ablution trap – er, bathtub, as Equius and his snooty blueblood vernacular would insist. She makes a number of attempts to flee and it takes a great deal of shouting and dashing around the house and a clever trap involving a squeakbeast before they can finally subdue her. She is washed and cleansed and three towels give their lives for the cause, and eventually she is left a shivering mess with wet hair and an ever-present frown, but at the end of the night when she trots back to her house and climbs into her recuperacoon, she is sure that it was all worth it.

And she is more than sure that, whatever Equius says or does, she _is_ going to smell and taste his sweet, sweet fluids again.


End file.
